flatulence

Can’t help but think there is a lesson for Len Brown here. Somewhere

Sharia law prohibits women from farting loudly

In a city in Indonesia there is a new regulation under Sharia law preventing women from farting audibly.

An Islamic city council in the Indonesian province of Aceh,?which follows Sharia,?has banned female citizens from passing gas.

Sayyid Yahia, mayor of the city, told media that a ban was needed, as farting does not go well with the Islamic values of modesty. ?Muslim women are not allowed to fart with sound, it?s against Islamic teachings,? he said. Meanwhile, the Indonesian Feminists Association told local media they will attempt to block the smelly law as they deem?it?discriminatory.

Talking to The Wadiyan, mayor Sayyid Yahia said the law aims to save people?s morals and behaviors. ?When you see woman fart loud, she appears like a man. But if she sit sideways and pass it quietly, she looks like a woman,? Sayyid said.

Although the proposed law does not ban ?quiet fart,? passing gas with sound is actually not uncommon in Southeast Asia, particularly for women consuming potatoes and peas. Obviously, women maintain that?they feel healthier, farting loud. Fathima Khan, a medical doctor at the Al Banni Islamic Hospital in Aceh?s capital is critical of the proposed law: ?There is no need to question this practice, let alone regulate it, because people do it for their health and safety,? she said.

The mayor declined to give The Wadiyan details of what the punishment would be for?violators. While another member at the City council, who wished not to be named, said if convicted by the sharia court, the offender could receive 20 lashes for small farts and up to 3 months prison time for larger ones.

Green Taliban just can’t help themselves

Green Taliban

After?Lucy Craymer and Charles Anderson?s frothing up a story?caused export markets to question New Zealand?s agriculture products, I thought a look at DCD was needed.

Talk about rank hyprocisy.

The Green Taliban?s Steffan Browning?couldn?t help but put the boot into Fonterra?while seeking some grand agrarian socialism for the farming sector. By his measure, only then will New Zealand clean green marketing be achievable.? Read more »

Camel Farts will now destroy the planet

An Australian Government committee has reluctantly rejected a cunning plan that could have saved the planet and made some smart operators nice and rich:

“A proposal to earn millions of carbon credits by shooting camels from helicopters and trucks has been rejected by the Australian government, in part due to concerns over animal welfare.

Northwest Carbon, a company that invests in projects that cut emissions of greenhouse gases, had sought up to 1 million carbon offsets a year from killing hundreds of thousands of camels ? and using the carcasses for human and pet food.

They were brought over by Indian settlers as a means of transport in the 1840s, but through excessive belching and flatulence they are expected to emit methane equivalent to 2 million tonnes of carbon dioxide a year by 2020, similar output to a small power plant.”

It looks increasingly like the carbon tax scheme was actually drawn up the Monty Python scriptwriters.? Read more »

Carbon Fraud

Third World countries are bilking the silly first world countries out of billions in payments for climate mitigation. It is a fraud:

Millions of pounds of British taxpayers? money has been spent on a scheme aimed at reducing the flatulence of Colombian cattle, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.

A ?15million grant to ranchers and other organisations in the South American country was part of a ?2.9billion package of ?climate aid? to developing countries which critics called ?ludicrous?.

The initiative aimed to improve animal diets by cultivating trees and plants on their grazing lands ? in doing so reducing the amount of methane escaping through belching and flatulence.

As well as being seen as a waste of money, the scheme has darker undertones, with The Mail on Sunday learning that the recipients, Colombian ranchers? organisation Fedegan, has been linked to a murderous paramilitary group.

Our investigation unearthed:

  • A total of ?14million of climate aid finance to projects in Uganda, despite the Government recently stopping all aid to the country because of corruption.
  • ?31million of British money going to Turkey ? a middle-ranking economy ? to help develop geo-thermal and wind power.
  • The Department for International Development (DFID) funding meetings between tribal ?rain-makers? and meteorologists in Kenya.

Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg said: ?After an Autumn Statement where people are making significant cuts, to have a ?2.9billion budget for a random collection of projects which have questions hanging over them as to whether or not they are corrupt is just an extraordinary waste of money.

?The Government does not exist to make charitable donations ? that?s something people should do privately. We?re looking for a further ?10billion of cuts and this seems to me the easiest place to start.?

Is this the world arm fart champion?

And just in case you wanted to know the etymology of the word fart is quite interesting:

It cannot but come as a surprise that against the background of countless important words whose origin has never been discovered some totally insignificant verbs and nouns have been traced successfully and convincingly to the very beginning of Indo-European.?Fart?(?not in delicate use?) looks like a product of our time, but it has existed since time immemorial. Even the nuances have not been lost: one thing is to break wind loudly (farting); quite a different thing is to do it quietly (the now obscure ?fisting?). (This fist has nothing to do with?fist??clenched fingers? and consequently isn?t related to?fisting, a sexual activity requiring, as we are warned, great caution and a lot of tender experience. This reminds me of the instruction Sergei Prokofiev gave to his First Piano Concerto: ?Col pugno,? that is ?with a fist?.)

Both words for the emission of wind (fart?and?fist) were current in the Old Germanic languages.?Frata?and?f?sa?(the accent over the vowel designates its length, not stress) turned up even in Old Icelandic mythological poems. According to a popular tale, the great god Thor was duped by a giant and spent a night in a mitten, which he took for a house. He was so frightened, as his adversary put it, that he dared neither sneeze nor ?fist.? In another poem, the goddess Freyja, notorious for her amatory escapades, was found in bed with her brother and farted (apparently shocked by the discovery).

The words were as vulgar then as they are today. Yet even grammar proves their antiquity. Some verbs (they are called strong) form their principal parts by changing the root vowel, for instance,?write/wrote/written,?sing/sang/sung. Others (they are called weak) add a dental suffix (d?or?t) in the preterit and the past participle, for example,?beg/begged/begged,look/looked/looked,?wait/waited/waited.?Strong verbs belong to the most ancient part of the Germanic vocabulary.?Fart?was one of them; however, it occurred in several forms. Modern German has retained?farzen?(now a weak verb, though?furzen?is the most common form) and?Furz?(a noun). In the older period, German also had?furzen?and?ferzan. Engl.?fart?goes back to?ferten, an exact congener of?ferzan. Although it was recorded only in the verbal noun?ferting, its existence can be taken for granted. I assume that the group?er?in it changed to?ar?in the same way in which?person?yielded its doublet?parson?and?clerk?became?Clark(in British English,?clerk?and?Clark?are homophones).

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Because Fart jokes are always funny

Some interesting file footage from Star Trek:

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