hair styles

Monday Mullets – The Phil-let

Another of Phil Goff’s planned “style make-overs” has been leaked via the tipline. The notes are:

The mullet is a hairstyle that is short at the front and sides, and long in the back. Often ridiculed as a lowbrow and unappealing hairstyle, the mullet began to appear in popular media in the 1960s and 1970s but did not become generally well-known until the early 1980s. It continued to be popular until the mid-1990s. Much like Phil Goff.

However with a suitable colour we believe that Phil Goff can return himself and the mullet to a new peak of popularity. The mullet appeals to core Labour blokes in Western Auckland with cross over to some of the more bogan townships and cities like Hamilton and Palmerston North. It complements his Triumph Bonneville and leather ensemble.

We call this the Phil-let.

Phil Goff's Mullet - The Phil-let

Phil Goff – The Beehive

Phil Goff’s minders, fresh from getting him to dye his hair have come up with some a selection of new images for him. Some of the images from the consultants have been leaked to me via the tip line.

This image is entitled simply “The Beehive”. There were some notes about how Goff was to carry it off and answer any questions from the likes of Garner or Pedro Gower.

“This hair cut is aspirational, with a touch of colour. It highlights youth, vibrancy and the leader’s goal of attaining higher office.”