Humor

Kumara Bill

Image-Lord Evans Whaleoil

 

screenshot-whaleoil

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How many naughty things can you put in three sentences?

Islam to be fair takes all the joy out of life. Below is a list of all the things we are not allowed under the religion of peace.

Just for fun see how many of the forbidden things you can put into three sentences about a guy we will call Muhammad.

CKEefjiWoAE6iUP

Face of the day

Bye bye

West Auckland Red

( plagiarized in its entirety from the Monty Python Dead Parrot sketch )

 

The sketch: Dead Politician

A constituent  enters an electoral office.

Mr. Praline: ‘Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The person behind the desk does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: ‘Ello, Miss?

Person Behind desk: What do you mean “miss”?

Mr. Praline: (pause)I’m sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

PBD: We’re closin’ for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this politician what I voted for not just last month.

PBD: Oh yes, the, uh, the West Auckland Red…What’s,uh…What’s wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad. ‘E’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it!

PBD: No, no, ‘e’s uh,…he’s resting.

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Photo Of The Day

Photo: Reuters

Photo: Reuters

Down and Dirty English

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The Science of Sarcasm

My old man used to always comment to me that “sarcasm was the lowest form of wit”. Actually it turns out that being able to recognise sarcasm is:

…an essential skill if one is going to function in a modern society dripping with irony. “Our culture in particular is permeated with sarcasm,” says Katherine Rankin, a neuropsychologist at the University of California at San Francisco. “People who don’t understand sarcasm are immediately noticed. They’re not getting it. They’re not socially adept.”

Sarcasm recognition in politics is especially necessary. Tui Brewaries will be pleased with the research too:

Sarcasm so saturates 21st-century America that according to one study of a database of telephone conversations, 23 percent of the time that the phrase “yeah, right” was used, it was uttered sarcastically. Entire phrases have almost lost their literal meanings because they are so frequently said with a sneer. “Big deal,” for example. When’s the last time someone said that to you and meant it sincerely? “My heart bleeds for you” almost always equals “Tell it to someone who cares,” and “Aren’t you special” means you aren’t.

Where Dad used to say “sarcasm is the lowest form of wit: it seems he was wrong on that too:

Sarcasm seems to exercise the brain more than sincere statements do. Scientists who have monitored the electrical activity of the brains of test subjects exposed to sarcastic statements have found that brains have to work harder to understand sarcasm.

That extra work may make our brains sharper, according to another study. College students in Israel listened to complaints to a cellphone company’s customer service line. The students were better able to solve problems creatively when the complaints were sarcastic as opposed to just plain angry. Sarcasm “appears to stimulate complex thinking and to attenuate the otherwise negative effects of anger,” according to the study authors.

The mental gymnastics needed to perceive sarcasm includes developing a “theory of mind” to see beyond the literal meaning of the words and understand that the speaker may be thinking of something entirely different. A theory of mind allows you to realize that when your brother says “nice job” when you spill the milk, he means just the opposite, the jerk.

Yep, must use the sarcasm filter more often.

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Oh dear its Pedobear in the wild in Wellington

@robyngallagher spotted this sticker on a van at the corner of Courtenay Place and Taranaki St in Wellington (just by an old toilet).

Pedobear in Wellington

[blackbirdpie id=”12265533239992320″]

Apparently it is a joke…not really a funny one though.

[blackbirdpie id=”12276565933031424″]

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How the Aussies deal with Silly Names

Here in New Zealand we sack people for telling jokes, in Australia they still have a sense of humour, even the chow on the panel.

I bet the Australian High Commissioner wasn’t called in by the Indian government over this TV show.