humour

Bless NewstalkZB’s diversity as they continue to employ a retarded host

It seems NewstalkZB has a diversity model that we should all emulate.

They continue to employ, and even give a column to, a clearly retarded person.

The latest dribble to hit her chin is an article where Rachel Smalley wails about there being no women on the coalition negotiation teams.

And so the negotiations go on.

It’s just a waiting game with National and Labour tip-toeing around parliament talking about how they can’t talk about anything right now but everything’s going well, it’s all very positive….and Winston Peters is like a rottweiler lunging at the end of his leash, snarling at the media like a dog who’s been poked with a stick one too many times.

Read more »

Tagged:

Photo of the Day

Liz Smith with Donald, Ivana and Ivanka Trump in 1987. Credit Tom Gates/Getty Images

Liz Smith

“The Grand Dame of Dish”

She was the most powerful gossip columnist in the 1980s. A tabloid celebrity herself, she could turn anyone into a star overnight. Celebrity culture would be nothing like it is today were it not for Liz Smith, known better as the Grand Dame of Gossip. For decades, her column was the only thing that mattered in showbiz and even today, at 94, she’s still writing about the comings and goings of the rich and famous.

From the time she began her first job at a New York City studio rag called Modern Screen, the renowned journalist has had a ringside seat for every celebrity story and scandal since World War II. Smith, a native Texan and graduate of the University of Texas, arrived in New York in 1949 with $50 to her name and no ticket home. Turns out she didn’t need one.

After working at some of the country’s top publications in various roles, Smith became a new kind of gossip columnist – one known for wit, humour, extensive legwork and fairness.

Smith became a celebrity herself due to her syndicated gossip column, starting out by ghostwriting a gossip column for Hearst newspapers in the 1950s and landing her own self-titled gossip column at the New York Daily News in 1976.

At the peak of her career, she was syndicated in more than 75 newspapers worldwide, and she eventually went to the New York Post, which let her go in 2009 when she was 86 years old.

She opened up about what it was like to dismissed by Rupert Murdoch, which she said “hurt my feelings and stature as a columnist.

“I was more shocked than anyone,” she said. “I thought I was indispensable.”

Read more »

If Nicky Hager wrote newspaper headlines for a living

 

Hit and Run co-author Nicky Hager has admitted that they got the location for the raid wrong in their book but thinks that their error is okay because they got the name of the village correct. It is just as well that Hager isn’t the kind of journalist that writes newspaper headlines for a living. Imagine the confusion if he did.

Read more »

A new version of the YMCA classic hit

 

The YMCA used to stand for Young Men’s Christian Association but now the song goes something like this…

Y.M.C.A
Mount Roskill Village People

Read more »

I’m sure they meant to say, Fee paying Women’s learn to swim programme

screenshot-whaleoil

It is ridiculous enough to become a meme. The Auckland council’s spokesperson denied the existence of Muslim Women’s Swimming lessons, refused to answer my questions about them and said that they provided Women only lessons that all women were welcome to sign up for.

The women only swim times are not limited to women of the Muslim faith.

That is what he said but this is the WaterSafe swimming programme registration form:

Read more »

If Whaleoil did to Hager what Hager did to Whaleoil

I was just minding my business walking along the beach when a chap calling himself CookedFish handed me a thumb drive. It contained “leaked” information from a hack he had done on the extreme left, controversial, trust fund baby and Marxist writer Sticky Nicky Hager.

I had heard about the hack through political circles and since I was already (conveniently) writing a book on the topic of Marxist writers who are Trust fund babies who are controversial, I had put some feelers out hoping to make contact with the mysterious figure known only as CookedFish.

Trying to hide my excitement I rushed home and slowly made my way through eight years worth of alt-left Hager’s personal and private communications. It was shocking stuff.

Read more »

Tagged:

Who did it better?

You may have seen in the women’s magazines the “Who wore it better?” articles where female movie stars wearing the same dress are compared and given a score out of ten.

I have four different fundraising approaches for you to compare where I ask you to decide who did it better. You can give a score out of ten if you like and feel free to comment on the relative pros and cons of each approach.

Read more »

Photo of the Day

Taking a business call in the bathtub…”

Joan Rivers Life Lessons…

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery

Joan Rivers’ humour was not for the faint of heart, or the thin-skinned. The sometimes ruthless comedienne, took no prisoners when it came to put-down comedy; even a breezy stroll down the red carpet had the potential to become a roast when she was around. She was as hard working a performer as Hollywood has seen, and her success — at least in her view — never matched her ambitions. She didn’t necessarily struggle for money, but she needed to work constantly in order to maintain a lavish lifestyle, which included a palace-like apartment in Manhattan.

“I live very well,” she said in the 2010 documentary “Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work.” “I enjoy my creature comforts, and I know I have to work for it.”

“Nothing has ever come easily for me,” Rivers once said “My whole career has just been hard, hurting, little steps. “

I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

– Joan Rivers

Read more »

God help us. Urinals in women’s bathrooms for transgenders that identify as female

Surely the answer is to have unisex toilets everywhere?

 

 

Kumara Bill

Image-Lord Evans Whaleoil

 

screenshot-whaleoil

Read more »