humour

Who did it better?

You may have seen in the women’s magazines the “Who wore it better?” articles where female movie stars wearing the same dress are compared and given a score out of ten.

I have four different fundraising approaches for you to compare where I ask you to decide who did it better. You can give a score out of ten if you like and feel free to comment on the relative pros and cons of each approach.

Read more »

Photo of the Day

Taking a business call in the bathtub…”

Joan Rivers Life Lessons…

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery

Joan Rivers’ humour was not for the faint of heart, or the thin-skinned. The sometimes ruthless comedienne, took no prisoners when it came to put-down comedy; even a breezy stroll down the red carpet had the potential to become a roast when she was around. She was as hard working a performer as Hollywood has seen, and her success — at least in her view — never matched her ambitions. She didn’t necessarily struggle for money, but she needed to work constantly in order to maintain a lavish lifestyle, which included a palace-like apartment in Manhattan.

“I live very well,” she said in the 2010 documentary “Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work.” “I enjoy my creature comforts, and I know I have to work for it.”

“Nothing has ever come easily for me,” Rivers once said “My whole career has just been hard, hurting, little steps. “

I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

– Joan Rivers

Read more »

God help us. Urinals in women’s bathrooms for transgenders that identify as female

Surely the answer is to have unisex toilets everywhere?

 

 

Kumara Bill

Image-Lord Evans Whaleoil

 

screenshot-whaleoil

Read more »

Maybe Bishop Brian Tamaki was onto something

Everyone has been quick to mock Bishop Brian for saying that homosexuals cause earthquakes and other natural disasters but what if he is on to something? If gays cause things like earthquakes and lightning strikes then couldn’t we harness that power for good? This could become a policy platform for the Greens. Who needs nuclear power when you can harness the power of Gay.

gay-power-flag

Read more »

My inappropriate relationship with Colin Craig

Colin Craig

Colin Craig

There has been another man in our marriage for quite a while now. He casts a shadow over my husband and I and he is a threat to our happiness. He has been the subject of a number of my fantasies. In my favourite one, he slowly turns to me, loosens his tie and in a deep voice says, ” I am so sorry for putting you and your family through all this legal nonsense.” He then he signs a few cheques and rides off into the sunset never to be seen or heard of again.

Like so many inappropriate relationships the reality is never as good as the fantasy and yesterday I met Colin Craig for the very first time. Little was I to know that hours later he would be metaphorically lying in a pool of blood as the Judge (cast in the role of gunslinger) calmly blew the smoke from her six-shooter and then slid it firmly into her judicial holster. Colin had lost his case against us. He had been called a vexatious litigant over and over and over again and he had been told that  he was wasting the courts time. He was also told that in the extremely unlikely event that he won at trial that he would be awarded no damages at all as his poem, like his case had no value at all. It was a legal blood bath.

When I decided to meet the star of my fantasies for the first time it was my intention to stare him down using my evil look. My evil look is famous as it has been known to make grown men cower and even the mighty Cameron Slater has been known to cringe and avoid eye contact when I have aimed it in his direction.

When we arrived I looked around for the man that so callously uses his wealth to threaten those who exposed him and this is what I saw…

Read more »

Let’s play the CNN porn game

cnn

This week CNN accidentally aired  30 minutes of hard core, transsexual porn. Some would say that it’s the first real news CNN has aired in years but what is even funnier is the name of the show that was supposed to be playing that the porn replaced for half an hour. The show was called…
drum-roll-please-2
wait for it…

Read more »

Tagged:

Unwritten car parking rules of New Zealand

article-2016809-0d15807600000578-279_634x372

Yesterday I was giving my daughter yet another driving lesson and after an encounter in the undercover Countdown carpark she told me that I should write a post about the unwritten car parking rules of New Zealand. My unwritten rules may be different to your unwritten rules but I think it is time to open the discussion because some of you insist on breaking them!

Read more »

Male feminist doesn’t get the point of #Meninist

Another reason to buy from My Food Bag

I do like a company with a sense of humour.

screenshot-whaleoil.co.nz

screenshot-whaleoil.co.nz

It reminds me of this….

Read more »

Tagged: