Guest Post – Takes two ears to hear

Regular reader Sym emails a guest post:

I should point out that the group is not a bunch of whiny takers. All of us have stumped up one way or another and got our own kids a second cochlear implant. We are also proposing parents contribute approximately $90 a fortnight towards the ongoing costs. However it is common sense when an approach is better, cheaper and safer to choose that approach.

If you want to do some background reading, check out our website?

Here is his Guest Post.

Do you know what a cochlear implant is? Most people don?t. There are less than 1,000 people in New Zealand with them. Lance Cairns is perhaps the highest profile New Zealander with one.

A cochlear implant is an electronic device that allows a person with complete hearing loss to hear. It bypasses everything and essentially plugs right into the auditory nerve. You can think of it as a super-sophisticated hearing aid ? but it really is a whole another paradigm in hearing technology.

Read more »

The ideal breast shape?

Apparently a plastic surgeon in the UK has discovered this elusive goal:

In a plastic surgeon?s quest to find the ideal female proportions, he turned to 100 glamour models..

It sounds almost like parody ? a top consultant plastic surgeon spends three months studying models appearing on Page 3 of a bestselling British red-top newspaper. Later this month he reveals his findings: the mathematical proportions of the perfect breast.

Of course, the subjectivity of such a statement can?t be ignored ? not to mention the somewhat dubious nature of the source material. But astonishingly, when shown computer mock-ups of the female form based on these equations, most women agree that they are indeed the ideal vital statistics.

Incredibly, although breast augmentation ? or the boob job, as it is commonly known ? has long been the most popular cosmetic surgery procedure, nobody within the industry has ever quantified the measurements and proportions that make a breast appealing to the eye.

And this energetic plastic surgeon has put in the time and research and finally nailed the magic formula.

For the first time plastic surgeons now have a powerful visual imagery of the proportions that make a breast attractive. ?Now we can show women images to highlight shape and form that will actually give them what they want,? says Mallucci.

Software has been developed using three-dimensional, predictive photography to enable surgeons to show patients on a screen how their own breasts would look with implants of different shapes and sizes.

?Many women seek breast surgery after pregnancy has left them with deflated breasts and comment that they?d like fullness added to the top.

‘But when shown an image of a woman?s breasts that fit the 45:55 ratio versus breasts that have more fullness on the upper pole, very few women ever then select the latter.?

As Mallucci concludes, it?s not that most surgeons don?t know what makes a breast attractive, it?s just that nobody?s studied and defined it before. In theory it could lead to a reduction in the number of poor boob jobs.

I’m all for the reduction in the number of poor boob jobs.

The features analysed were the dimensions of the upper and lower pole, medical terms that describe the areas above and below the nipple; plus the angle at which the nipple points and the slope of the upper pole.

?The study revealed that in all cases the nipple ??meridian?? ? the horizontal line drawn at the level of the nipple ? lay at a point where, on average, the proportion of the breast above it represented 45 per cent of overall volume of the breast and below it 55 per cent.

?In the majority of cases the upper pole was either straight or concave, and the nipple was pointing skywards at an average angle of 20 degrees. In all cases the breasts demonstrated a tight convex lower pole ? a neat but voluminous curve.

It looks like this:

Fake tits save lives

It’s true they do:

From?Pravda, the story of a Moscow woman who was stabbed in the heart by her husband, but whose silicone breast implants absorbed the blade, preventing her from dying. Fake tits save lives.

Because the implants ? inserted five years prior, at the request of the husband ? were so large, the knife “did not even reach the thorax.”

Perhaps what we’ve stumbled upon here is a game-changing form of bionic armor. It could have interesting, cleavage-enhancing ramifications for our men in blue!

Chavez would have kittens

From the NY Times is a story that would have Hugo Chavez having kittens.

Breast implant operations have surged 40 percent in the past decade, with nearly 300,000 women last year opting to increase their breast size.

New data released by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons show that breast enhancement, through lifts and implants, remains a priority for women seeking cosmetic surgery. By contrast, nose jobs, liposuction and lip augmentation are all on the decline.

Last year surgeons performed 296,203 breast implants, a 2 percent increase over 2009 and a 39 percent jump since 2000. Women in the Mountain and Pacific states are most likely to seek breast enhancement, accounting for nearly 40 percent of procedures.

Breast lifts, which reached nearly 90,000 last year, are up 9 percent since 2009 and 70 percent since 2000. And 82,871 operations were performed to reduce breast size, an increase of 6 percent from the year before but still 2 percent lower than 2000. (Additionally, 18,280 male breast reduction operations were performed.)

About 21,700 operations were performed to remove breast implants. That?s 9 percent more of these procedures than in 2009, but a drop of 47 percent since 2000.

Can’t see there is much to complain about there. Clearly women are voting with their breasts and going for the bigger is best theory.

Women account for 91 percent of cosmetic procedures. Middle age remains the most popular time to seek cosmetic work. Procedures for patients between ages 40 and 54 increased 6 percent last year, accounting for about half of all procedures. Even so, cosmetic work is gaining in popularity among the old and young. People 55 and older underwent 3.3 million cosmetic procedures last year, a rise of 4 percent over the previous year. And 2.4 million procedures were performed on people in their 30s, an increase of 4 percent.

Nice to see that women don’t want saggy tits, or empty tobacco?pouches?as one commenter had her breasts described before she had the puppies enhanced.


Left wing scum attacking boobs now

Hugo Chavez is evil. Now he is attacking women with big breasts.

Hugo Chavez, the Venezuela president, has criticised the “monstrous” fashion for breast implants amongst Venezuelan women.

Oh the perfidy of large breasts on?gorgeous?women. Hell even on ugly women large breasts could mitigate?the?ugliness. I fail to see how this is a bad thing, but then Chavez is dumber than a sack of hammers.