Malcolm J. Brenner

Whale Week What Was

Steve Harris - Iron Maiden, Whale Oil Beef HookedSaturday started with a Face of the Day photo that was a bit hard to look at before breakfast. ?Cam finds a Frenchman worthy of respect, and is pleased to find they aren’t all cheese eating surrender monkeys.?Count Jacques le Bel de Penguilly does have a poofy name though. ?Five Lesbians Eating a Quiche is a play that Whale suggests David Farrar should review for his Womans Weekly blog. ?Australia charges its second Catholic Priest for child sex crimes, and this blog continues to ask: ?Why is New Zealand immune? ?We’re either better than the rest of the world or we’re still covering it up. ?Which is it, and why? ? Sadly, another Cry Baby post where we highlight those who aren’t taking personal responsibility. ?This time, people who booked on Jetstar had their flights cancelled are in the paper bleating they’ll never fly Jetstar again. ?If only they knew this could happen, eh? ?Sharing a public space is tough when the others are eating, playing music and talking on their phones. ?Cam Slater throws in a joke about an ERO school inspector and Hekia Parata, and follows it up with a post where he reveals that politicians lie. ?Yeah. ?Why do women wear high heels? ?It can get to the point of ridiculousness for sure. An interesting post showing that a Connecticut newspaper is still advertising guns right next to Sandy Hook School news. ?That was followed by a post of dash cam footage from 1927 as well as dash cam footage of a plane crash last week. ?Next a top drawer post about glow in the dark toilet paper and poop hand soap. ?Only on WOBH. ? An interesting BBC2 short about Gordon Buchanan turning himself potential into Polar Bear lunch?leads a post about Iron Maiden showing Steve Harris wearing a Whale Oil Beef Hooked T-Shirt. ?Perhaps we should avoid NZ Herald Stock tips: ?Australian shares are hot apparently? ?Especially those APN stocks. ?Oh, and Fairfax stocks are doing just great as well. ?And as we wind down towards the end of the Saturday, we have a post about a CK Stead letter in which he slams the Binnie report as having clear bias. ? Read more »

Had sex with a Wet Goddess, then wrote a book about it

Meet?Malcolm J. Brenner, the controversial author of?Wet Goddess, the autobiographical novel of a young man’s love affair with a dolphin.

Malcolm J. Brenner, with his book, Wet Goddess - by Matt Saincome

Malcolm J. Brenner, with his book, Wet Goddess – by Matt Saincome

Yes, you read that right. ?Brenner had sex with a dolphin and he is the kiss and tell type.

Reports SF Weekly:

The book, which he self-published, has gotten him fired from jobs and ended relationships, and with employers Google-searching most applicants, has made work hard to come by.

Brenner describes sex acts with various animals (including his dog) with the same level of calm most people use to tell you what they had for breakfast. And when he speaks of Dolly, the dolphin he had sex with while submerged underwater in 1971, you can see in his eyes that he can still see her, as if she is right there in front of him. It’s the same look he had on his face when he told me after the interview that he was molested as a child.

Do not read the rest of the article. ?Rush to the comment section now. ?And start telling us how Marriage Equality is going to lead to exactly this sort of thing.

(You have to admire anyone who can take an article on Dolphin Sex and turn it into a debate on Marriage Equality. ?But sadly, it’s some of our commenters that make leaps bigger than Superman jumping on the tallest building).

Continue at your own peril

Mr. Brenner, we’re going to be covering a lot of subjects in great deal of detail over the course of this interview, but I’d like to begin completely out of context by asking you one question, more than any other, almost every American and people all over the world want me to ask. Did you put it in the blowhole or the va-jay-jay?

It was vaginal sex. Vaginal sex. Blowholes are for breathing. Sometimes male dolphins do each other in the blowhole, but you wouldn’t find me trying to do that.

Would it be oral if you put it in the blowhole?

It wouldn’t be oral because it’s not their mouth — their mouths are full of teeth. It would be nasal sex.

Zach, the main character in your book, developed a telepathic communication channel with the dolphin, Ruby …

He believed he did.

Yeah, he believed he did. It’s an autobiographic novel, so does that mean you had a telepathic connection to the dolphin?

Everything about the dolphins in the book I wrote is based very closely on what happened with me. The only changes I made were about the human beings, and really minor ones at that. The book was as close to the real story as I could tell it. So yeah, I thought I was in telepathic contact with the dolphin.

It bedeviled me, because I knew it seemed improbable and it shouldn’t be happening, you know? I was getting high a lot, so maybe I was just stoned? But then it would happen when I wasn’t getting high, so it was very confusing.

But I’ve since learned I’m not the only person to have those kinds of experiences. I’ve talked with dolphin trainers and people who work with dolphins in the military, and if you really get deeply involved with dolphins, and you’re open to these kind of experiences, and you’re not being told that they don’t happen or you can’t talk about them because you work for Sea World, then a surprising number of people seem to have them.

[awkward pause]

Next question?

Malcolm J. Brenner with Dolly, the dolphin he had sex with - Malcolm J. Brenner

Malcolm J. Brenner with Dolly, the dolphin he had sex with – Malcolm J. Brenner

As not to push the boundaries of fair use, you can read the remainder of the interview here.

It does seem some dolphins don’t see the inter-species boundary as relevant