Mike Moreu

David Bain Jokes

They have been coming in in dribs and drabs, time for a post.

What did David Bain say when he went into KFC?
God I could murder a family pack

After golf on Sunday, his defence lawyer said “How many did you shoot David?” He said 5. The defence lawyer said “5? I thought you shot par?” “No” said David. “He shot himself”

The new David Bain drinking game: take a news paper and run around the block, go inside and have a shot in each room!

Q. What do you call the fact that David had injuries consistent with a struggle, a glasses lens found in his brothers room, blood on his clothes and his fingerprints on the rifle?
A. A coincidence.

Q. What do you call a sycophantic Bain supporter sitting in Joe Karam’s jaquizzi?
A. Juror #7

I’m going to make like David Bain and shoot home.

What would it take for a Bain family reunion? Just one bullet..

David Bain was pleased with the outcome of his trial, but was pissed off at the lack of family support

David Bain has a job lined up as a photographer, he’s going to specialise in family shots

David Bain has been selected for the All Blacks in place of Richard Kahui on the wing. He’s not very fast but he’ll leave the first-five for dead.

David Bain should play for the All Blacks in the vacant number ten spot.  He’d the leave the other first-five for dead.


Massacre in Mt Albert?

Lee’s blunders hurt National in Mt Albert, poll showsThe by-election battle for Mount Albert this Saturday could have been a much closer affair than is now predicted, according to a special ONE News Colmar Brunton poll [TVNZ News Politics]

I was shocked to hear last night TVNZ describe a masscacre in Mt Albert.

My first thought was OMG! David Bain has run amok in celebration of conning the jury.

Still I think TVNZ’s poll is flawed. I can’t pinpoint why I think that but the feedback from people on the street simply doesn’t match the poll results.

Though in one respect the result isn’t surprising when you consider that Labour is throwing literally billions of dollars they don’t have at winning this seat. For them and for Phil Goff it is a must win.

Now the interesting thing about the poll is that TVNZ also included party vote stats even though that doesn’t come into play. What that says is that the people of Mt Albert, though they are supporting David Shearer personally they are more supporting National in general.

And after attending a meet the candiates meeting last night I am now left with the impression that David Shearer is the Clem Simich of the Labour Party. He is supposed to be delivering a message to Wellington that like Clem’s will never get there.

He appeared completely disinterested in all aspects of the night, at one stage when I was filming I thought he had fallen asleep, though given the poll results I think him and his flown in team think the battle is all over.

Bain found Not Guilty – Media jubilant

If you need a reason as to why the jury has found David Bain not guilty despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary then look no further than this tweet on the TV3 coverage of the trial and sit and wonder why the press gallery were jubilant…..aren’t they supposed to be repeating the news not making it?

Press Gallery Jubilant???





Retrial for Bain

Freddy Kruger David Bain is to face a retrila for the murders of his family.

The Solicitor-General has ruled Freddy Kruger David Bain should face a retrial over the 1994 murders of five members of his family, describing it as "one of the most horrific cases in New Zealand's history".

[quote]"Guilt or innocence of an accused person is not decided by the media, or public opinion polls,"

"Those who attempt to usurp or other wise influence the trial risk facing a charge of contempt of court."[/quote]

And isn't that just the quote of the year, if only Helen Clark and Mallard would take heed over the Mercury Energy debacle.

Now back to Kruger Bain. The S-G has cited three main reasons for ordering a re-trial.

First, the Privy Council did not acquit Bain, and said its judgment made no comment at all on whether Bain was guilty or innocent.

Second, the Privy Council had the option of allowing Bain's appeal and recording a verdict of acquittal, but did not do so.

Third, the Privy Council ordered a retrial.

Police Association President Greg O'Connor also had some sensible comments, highly unusual from a unionist but hey, these one were good.

[quote]"A retrial is absolutely necessary.

"In fact so much of the case has been played out in the court of public opinion, influenced by sound bites and headlines, we believe there is a strong case for the trial to be televised. That way the public will have the opportunity to hear all the evidence in full, instead of select slices.

"We urge New Zealanders to take the time to examine all the evidence so they can see the whole picture for themselves, not just the selective pieces published in the media."[/quote]




David Bain wins Re-trial

Five Law Lords in London, sitting on what is expected to be the last New Zealand case to appear before the Privy Council, quashed Bain's convictions for murdering his parents, sisters, and brother in 1994 and ordered a new trial. However Bain will have to remain in prison awaiting that retrial. 

The Privy Council said the case featured unusual circumstances and may have constituted a "substantial miscarriage of justice".

You have to wonder why Clark got rid of the Privy Council. 

David Bain upset at new Prison Overalls

David Bain is upset over a new prison policy that makes all inmates wear bright-orange jumpsuits when receiving visitors.

The rule will be introduced at all prisons to limit the smuggling of contraband.

Previously, high-security inmates or those who had been caught with contraband wore the overalls for visits, but the policy now includes all prisoners.

The orange overalls are secured by a plastic tie at the neck to prevent contraband items being placed inside the clothing.

They also make the prisoners easily distinguishable from others in large visiting halls and limit the chances of an inmate escaping. 

[quote]David said he refused to wear them. He said he'd rather not see anyone than see them in those humiliating things, which used to be only for people smuggling drugs[/quote]

Hmmm…this from the man who has the worlds worst Cardy collection.