Mumbai

Well this is embarrassing. A Prime Minister who can?t even get one working plane

It is pretty embarrassing that NZ can’t field a plane to get the PM to India.

A Royal New Zealand Air Force Boeing 757 plane has aborted takeoff twice at Townsville Airport in Australia due to technical problems.

It’s carrying Prime Minister John Key, former Blackcap Brendon McCullum and a delegation of around 30 business leaders to Mumbai, India, to build trade ties.

A contingent of media, as well as the Defence Force cricket team, were also on board.

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We don’t have a ‘Rape Culture.’ THIS, is a country with a ‘Rape Culture’

Previously I have explained the Feminist definition of what Rape Culture is and have concluded that we simply do not have it here in NZ when you look at the definition of what a Rape Culture actually is.

However India meets all the requirements hands down and this unbelievably? disgusting photo shoot leaves the viewer with no doubt whatsoever as to the underlying? attitude towards women in India. To be fair the photographer claims that his intent was to highlight the Rape culture in an artistic way. You be the judge as to whether or not he succeeded.

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Avoid The Muthoot Plaza snack bar, terminal 2, Mumbai

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Who wants to sit by an obese man ‘the size of an infant hippopotamus’?

"What weighs more than a Suzuki Swift, less than a Hummer and smells like the decaying anus of a deceased homeless man? No idea? How about, what measures food portions in kilograms and has the personal hygiene of a French prostitute? Still nothing? Right, one more try. What's fat as f***, stinks like shit and should be forced to purchase two seats on a Jetstar flight?"

“What weighs more than a Suzuki Swift, less than a Hummer and smells like the decaying anus of a deceased homeless man? No idea? How about, what measures food portions in kilograms and has the personal hygiene of a French prostitute? Still nothing? Right, one more try. What’s fat as f***, stinks like shit and should be forced to purchase two seats on a Jetstar flight?”

Every time I travel I sit on planes praying that the fatties coming down the aisle just keep on moving…I shudder to think about how some of them even manage to sit down, let alone use a tray table.

If they have to use a seat belt extension I think they are probably too large to travel. Have a thought about this poor bastard then.

As rage letters go, they don’t come much more furious than the epistle sent to an Australian airline by a passenger seated next to a man as big as ‘an infant hippopotamus’ and who smelled like ‘blue cheese’ and a ‘Mumbai slum’.

Traveller Rich Wisken wrote on a blog that he paid an extra $A25 (?13.50) for an exit row seat, expecting to travel from Perth to Sydney with more room than a normal economy seat.

But he found himself seated beside an obese man, leaving him to feel that he was pinned to his seat ‘by a fleshy boulder.’

When he tried to change seats, he found those that were empty were taken by passengers who had stretched themselves out to lie in comfort.

Mr Wisken returned to his exit row seat and ‘it was then I realised that my fate was sealed.

‘I made my way back to Jabba the Hutt (the blob creature in Star Wars) and spent the remainder of the flight smothered in side-boob and cellulite, taking shallow breaths to avoid noxious gas poisoning.’

It might be gathered by now that Mr Wisken was not at all happy with the four-and-a-half-hour flight and has penned a furious letter to the airline, Jetstar, a subsidiary of Qantas.

Of course it was Jetstar.

What made his ordeal worse was to find that two days later a flight to Melbourne he’d book with the airline was cancelled, as was a rescheduled flight.

On his third attempt, the flight was delayed for two hours.

On receiving his angry, but humorous, letter of complaint, Jetstar emailed him with an offer of a $A100 (?54) voucher in compensation, Sydney’s Daily Telegraph reports today.

‘Awesome work, Jetstar!’ he wrote.

‘Two of my flights in the past two days have been cancelled. You’re so lucky that my favourite pastime is wasting both time and money getting to and from airports.

‘Imagine how annoyed someone who doesn’t LOVE wasting time and money would feel about this situation. Man, I’d hate to be that guy…’

This is the start of his email to Jetstar.

Dear Jetstar…

Do you like riddles? I do, that’s why I’m starting this letter with one. What weighs more than a Suzuki Swift, less than a Hummer and smells like the decaying anus of a deceased homeless man? No idea? How about, what measures food portions in kilograms and has the personal hygiene of a French prostitute? Still nothing? Right, one more try. What’s fat as f***, stinks like shit and should be forced to purchase two seats on a Jetstar flight? That’s right, it’s the man I sat next to under on my flight from Perth to Sydney yesterday.

Another A320 goes down

Another A320 has gone down.

A U.S. Airways flight from LaGuardia Airport in New York went down in the Hudson River this afternoon, and rescuers moved quickly to remove passengers from the plane.

Flight 1549, an Airbus A320 with 135 people on board, appeared to make a controlled landing in the water shortly after takeoff from New York bound for Charlotte, N.C.

Television news footage showed the aircraft resting apparently intact in the frigid water as ferries and rescue vessels surrounded it and helicopters flew overhead.

Thankfully no one was killed. However A320’s are falling out of the sky with alarming regularity at the moment with Air New Zealand’s A320 crash causing the death of seven.

You won’t catch me on an Airbus anytime soon.