Stop praising people – you?ll turn them into useless narcissists

Stop praising your kids…belittle them instead…ok maybe don’t go that far.

If you want your child to grow up happy and successful, you need to praise them ? right? Well, maybe not.

Recent research shows that many parents may be over-praising their children, that we may be making our children less confident and less successful as a result. In extreme cases it could be turning kids into narcissists.

For some time social scientists have been puzzling over soaring narcissism levels in Western society. Some blame social media ? Facebook, Instagram ? for this rise in self-obsession.

But Dutch researchers now believe that Generation Selfie could actually be blamed on the parents who overvalue and over-praise their kids. They say we need to think very carefully about how we sing the praises of our children.

For three decades now parents have been sold the idea they can’t praise their kids enough.

Toning down the praise is an old-school idea gaining new currency, rekindled by a ground-breaking study in Holland that’s hit a chord across the Western world. Read more »


Narcissism can be fatal


Are you prepared to die to get a photograph of yourself?

A young Russian woman has died after a fall from the bridge where she was trying to make a memorable selfie next to the Moscow City financial district, police sources say. Her death is the latest in a rash of fatal and near-fatal selfie incidents.

The woman, a 21-year-old graduate of the Russian State University of Tourism and Services Studies, reportedly wanted to make a selfie in front of one the famous landmarks of the Russian capital, but fell from the bridge while taking the photo.

The incident took place Saturday night next to the Moscow International Business Center, also referred as Moscow City.

?According to preliminary information, the young woman was taking a selfie together with her friends, but couldn?t hold on and fell from the bridge onto the quayside,? a source close to the investigation told TASS news agency.

According to other sources, the reason for girl?s death was a broken fence on the bridge that she leaned on while taking the photo.

Anton Tsvetkov, of the Commission on the Common House on Safety, told Interfax that he will investigate the reasons for the deadly incident.

?What the fence is like that it couldn?t hold a fragile young woman?? he asked.

The rash of recent series strange and deadly incidents involving selfies have hit the headlines as social media users seem to be doing more and more outlandish things so that their photos stand out from the crowd.

It’s natural selection at work. ? Let it be. ?These people are serving society better if they are no longer part of the gene pool.


– Aljazeera


Harden up, it’s politics, not tiddlywinks

Some weak panty waists in the UK are having a sook about some sweary behaviour.

The glamorous aide behind George Osborne?s trendy new image has been accused of bullying in a real-life The Thick Of It-style Whitehall row.

The Chancellor?s adviser, former BBC producer Thea Rogers, has been branded a ?pitbull? by Treasury officials, who claim she shouts and swears like TV spin doctor Malcolm Tucker, played by Peter Capaldi.

They say she hurls four-letter insults and has ?tantrums, rants and hissy fits? when she is unhappy with their work, leaving colleagues in tears.

Well-placed sources say the Treasury?s Permanent Secretary, Sir Nicholas Macpherson, has spoken to officials ?bruised? by Ms Rogers?s behaviour.

Ms Rogers, a former producer to BBC political editor Nick Robinson, has been credited with transforming the Chancellor?s public image since he hired her two years ago.

Mr Osborne?s dramatically reduced waistline, Caesar-style, close-cropped haircut and his high-profile tours of factory floors across the country have all been overseen by the aide.

But a Treasury insider who claims to have witnessed ?Thea the pitbull? treating staff badly said last night: ?She is confrontational and humiliates people who displease her ? often in the middle of meetings.

‘She has tantrums, rants, hissy fits and screams at people whose work she finds unacceptable. Some people were reduced to tears.?

The Mail on Sunday has been told Ms Rogers was accused of ?astonishing rudeness? in the run-up to a major speech by the Chancellor earlier this year in Tilbury, Essex, when Treasury aides struggled to find local bosses to join the audience.

A female civil servant involved in arranging the Chancellor?s visits reportedly ?reached the end of her tether? with Ms Rogers.

Read more »

Comment of the Day

Hoju from yesterday’s Backchat:

Just imagine a sports team needs a new captain. They do it democratically, so the sponsors get 20% of the vote, the fans 40% and the team members 40%. The majority of the sponsors and fans like Joe Bloggs, but most of the players hate his guts because he’s a narcissistic back stabbing ratbag. Obviously Mr Bloggs gets the nod, and immediately the captain drops his main contenders, and a couple of the other guys walk away.
How well is this team going to do in the league next year?

It is a very good analogy.

Labour are heading for disaster.

I said at the time of the constitution change that it was fraught with danger and would nobble the party for the foreseeable future. ? Read more »

Whose party?

Who owns the Internet Party and Laila Harre?

Is it the members?

Is it someone else?

Let’s look at the legal documents served on Radio Live and Sean Plunket, and taken from the undertaking given by Wayne Tempero in the High Court.


Read more »

Certain business people and politicians come to mind

Dotcom in lockdown, paranoia sets in

As I revealed this week there have been significant changes at the Dotcom Mansion.

His long serving security have bailed on him and the sweeps of the mansion for bugs are now complete along with the installation of some new security devices, but security remains a concern.

So much so he has now ruined a planned event by cancelling permission for joggers and runners to traverse the property.

dotcom-runners Read more »


Words of impending doom from the ratbag mayor


Len Brown says he is going to stay.

These are words of doom.

Mr Brown gave an assurance there was nothing else out there and made a commitment to work closer with councillors on a common agenda in the new year.

I can’t believe that Len Brown would just flat out lie like that. He knows what was omitted from the EY report. He knows that there isn’t just Bevan Chuang, he knows the state he left the hotel rooms in, he knows how the books were made and how the upgrades were obtained, he knows what went on behind curtains in the swanky harbour side hotel restaurant….he knows there is much, much more to come out.

How can he sit there and promise there is nothing else to come out?

The only explanation I can figure is that he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and when you see his other statements about staying on you can see the proof.

But Mr Brown told media this afternoon that after “genuine, deep reflection” he had decided not to stand down, and called his council’s decision to censure him appropriate.

“This is a fair but very firm direction to myself and I have indicated to them that I accept that that is an appropriate direction.”

He said his “passion for the city and my view as to how we go forward” had “maintained my equilibrium and ultimately my preparedness to stay here and continue to do the work”.

“But for those that feel I haven’t been contrite enough, I’ve really spent nine weeks in fairly clear contrition across all my personal and professional life.

”… This has been the most difficult time of my life.”

All I can say at this point is that his life is going to get much more difficult.

Ratbags be ratbags and we for sure have a ratbag mayor.

Larry Pickering on Kevin Rudd

Larry Pickering writes of the end of the career of Kevin Rudd.

It is a superb sledge-fest from beginning ?to end.

It?s difficult to find words that aptly describe your momentous contribution to Australia?s political scene. But I will try.

We will miss your quaint dysfunctional disasters, your megalomania, your narcissistic self absorption.

We will miss your conceited arrogance and rudeness… your schizophrenic flakiness and psychotic boorishness. ? Read more »

The psychology of narcissism and why all bullies are narcissists

Len Brown won’t quit, neither will Rob Ford. In both case both men have acted in an appalling fashion.

In Brown’s case he is getting off scot-free with a weak and compliant media. Rob Ford is more dogged in the face of an incredulous and questioning media. The two examples are similar and yet contrasting.

Both cases though highlight extreme narcissism and bullying behaviour.

In?an earlier article for?The Atlantic, I discussed the psychology of narcissism through a profile of Lance Armstrong, highlighting a similar winner-loser dynamic inherent in narcissistic relations. ?The narcissist lives in a world populated by two classes of people, the winners and the losers. His constant aim in life is to prove he’s a winner and to triumph over the losers.? I described?narcissistic winning as a psychological strategy?for off-loading unconscious shame, a heavily repressed sense of internal inferiority:?You?re the loser, not me. The narcissist therefore needs and depends upon identified losers in order to carry his shame, thereby shoring up his defensive sense of self.? Read more »