How to have sex with strippers and keep your cash

Chris Neiratko has put a lot of time and effort into researching how you can have sex with strippers and still?have?money in your pocket…way too much time:

Most people think the way to a stripper?s pussy is with money, buying lap dance after lap dance, throwing stacks of singles on stage as they dance, and surprising them with expensive gifts. Those people are idiots. ?Marks,? as the girls call them. Someone to be siphoned until not one drop of cash is left.

There is only one surefire way to pull a stripper and it has nothing to with personality or money (although those things don?t hurt). The secret is DRUGS.

Contrary to what many pro-stripper films and documentaries tell you, 9 out of 10 strippers are on drugs of some sort.* Be it coke, dust, weed, pills, booze, if a girl?s job is to climb up on stage and spread her gash for a bunch of sweaty, over-weight mutts in ill-fitting work clothes you?d better believe it takes a certain type of courage that can only be had from illegal substances. Knowing that, the key to making a needy young sex kitten your slave for the night (or the week) is to always be holding. But you have to make sure you?re carrying the right stuff for the type of stripper you?re trying to bang. It just so happens that this whole thing can be broken down racially. Along with the genetic yarns that make a woman a certain color go these little strands that decide their drug proclivities. Don?t freak out?I didn?t write the rules here. God did. I just follow them.

Finland Facts – The Beer Run

Labour Leader David Shearer wants New Zealand to be more like Finland.

And the Finns really love a good piss-up.

So just like New Zealand,?it’s just a short trip down to the bottlestore when the sauna loving Scandinavians run out of beer.

The?full you tube clip?is called Beer Run In Finland.

Note: One skeptical comment notes:?Where did he keep the cash?

Good question.


Some people cope with stress in different ways

? NZ Herald

I bet he regretting his chosen method of stress relief now:

The co-head of a viral online campaign to hunt down Ugandan war criminal Joseph Kony has been hospitalised after being found semi-naked in the street, masturbating, police and his boss said on Friday.

The head of Invisible Children, the organisers of the internet campaign sensation, said Jason Russell was receiving medical care for “exhaustion, dehydration, and malnutrition.”

Why does Gary McCormick have a problem with breasts?

Gary McCormick has a problem with breasts:

A complaint about a “vulgar” and “crass” advertisement for a show about extremely large breasts has not been upheld by the Broadcasting Standards Authority.

Gary McCormick complained a promo for the documentary?Real Life: The World’s Most Enhanced Woman and Me?should not have been screened during the 6pm One News on September 28 when children could have been watching.

Mr McCormick said the advertisement for the show, which featured footage of women with extremely large breasts was “vulgar” and “crass”.

However the authority found that while some may find the subject matter offensive, most people would not be offended by the advert itself.

“All of the women were clothed, and the promo did not contain any nudity. The shots of the women and t

Can?t he just go back to whinging about his usually leftie bullshit causes where the rest of us pay for all the dumb stuff he want us to.

Getting your kit off

via the tipline

I am reliably informed that the Green Nutter Robyn Malcolm?who recently appeared undressed on the cover of Next Magazine threw a?tantrum when the cover was first printed forcing every cover to have a?sticker placed in the region of her pleasure palace.

The actress with?the intellect of of a rare endangered snail realised that when you?take your clothes off and pose naked pubic hair may be exposed.


Bill Ralston: No one wins from dirty tactics

Bill Ralston: No one wins from dirty tacticsHe may have resigned but Richard Worth is not the only victim in this debacle. When you play in the muck you will get dirt on you. It’s a lesson Phil Goff forgot last week and it must take the gloss off the Mt Albert by-election result. When… [NZ Herald Politics]

Bill Ralston lays into phil Goff for his role in pimping out Neelam choudary, then acting all innocent about it and then leaking salacious details to the media in his attempt to make John Key look silly.

This continues the same story that Barry Soper has told, that the only people who knew the details were Phil Goff and John Key and that the story was peddled to the gallery so that questions could be asked of John Key.

It is obvious that Goff’s office first leaked the rumour to the Press Gallery that Labour had already warned Key of allegations of sexual harassment by Worth of another woman, who we now know is Neelam Choudary.

Leaving the Korean woman’s allegations to one side, it is also now apparent that the Choudary affair was largely a Labour set-up.

All Key was first presented with was allegations Worth had made inappropriate advances via texts, phone calls and a coffee meeting to an unnamed woman, but there was no hard evidence to back it up.

Not surprisingly, Worth denied all and, in the absence of proof, Key’s inquiries came to nothing.

When the proverbial hit the fan over the Korean woman, Labour dropped the whisper of the Choudary allegations and Key was forced completely on to the back foot and publicly embarrassed. Labour strategists would have been chortling.

Labour got caught though, largely due to me and Phil Goff’s injudicious comments aided by Brian Rudman’s loose lips as well. Phil Goff’s dirty tricks brigade has their fingers all over this, including their paid for lap-bloggers at The Standard running the lines that John Key revealed the identity of the woman in direct contradiction with the recollections of veteran political journalists.

No one has come out of this business with their reputation enhanced by what now must be seen as a Labour Party dirty trick.

Goff has ducked for cover, after a couple of weeks of drip-feeding juicy tidbits to the media and taking the moral high ground. That can only be seen as an admission he was wrong.

Goff is wrong, he must apologise and he must fall on his sword for his role in this grubby little 14 year old school boy sting that he and his office have run. Singlehandedly he has dragged Labour and politics in general into the sewer which is rightly the domain of bloggers.

Another good post from Chris Trotter

While Labour and Phil Goff in particular continue to get down in the gutter other commentators have noticed that things are somewhat different than Labour paint as a picture.

Chris Trotter is one of them.

According to Labour and its left-wing allies, John Key is a hard-line free-marketeer who had to be “sold” to the New Zealand electorate (principally by the Australian political consultancy, Crosby-Textor) as a benign centrist. Had Key not adopted this persona, the Left insists, he would never have been elected. Which means National’s election-winning formula: Labour-lite + tax-cuts; cannot be abandoned before 2011 without putting its re-election at risk. Consequently, Key must wait until he wins a second term before unleashing his “secret” agenda: radical welfare reform + wholesale deregulation and privatisation.

But what if we are actually watching a very different movie? What if, far from being a sort of antipodean werewolf, impatiently waiting for the next electoral full moon so he can tear to shreds what remains of the egalitarian New Zealand dream, Key really is a moderate? What if the horror-movie we’re watching isn’t The Howling, but a political version of Night of the Living Dead, in which Key and his Finance Minister desperately battle the reanimated corpses of economic and social policies everyone believed dead and buried in the 1990s?
Essentially Trotters piece is about how Labour may have got the wrong plot for their film. If indeed it is Night of the Living Dead then the voters will certainly see John Key and Bill English as saviours which is the worst possible scenario for Labour.
I think Trotter may well be right. So far all of lbour’s scare mongering has not even remotely come true.

Labour's legacy

School bulliesThere has been much talk of a legacy from Labour and in particular Helen Clark. That talk generally comes from fawning felchers and lap-bloggers of the left.

What is becoming more and more apparent is that the legacy of Helen Clark and Labour is that they have left behind a trail of destruction caused by inept government, mis-management and poor spending.

We have the debacle of Labour deliberately under-funding ACC to prop up the account elsewhere. Not only that, they have breached the law by not declaeing over $2 billion in funding shortfall in the Prefu. There are the ongoing Defense procurement issues and not to mention the politicisation of the Police force and the Public Service.

Today we have also found yet another area of concern that really needs to be sheeted home to Labour and their increasing legacy of destruction.

Despite all the talk and the paying of lickspittles for TV campaigns about violence and bullying, a survey of schools in about 40 countries has found that bullying in New Zealand primary schools is in the worst category in the world. Yet another top half of the OECD effort by Labour.

It turns out yet again that when Helen Clark intoned that she was ambitious to get New Zealand into the top half of the OECD it was for all the worst statistics possible. Her legacy is truly horrible.

Deadline fears for stadium

Deadline fears for stadiumThe Government is considering passing a law overriding Eden Park’s consent process because of fears it will not be ready for the Rugby World Cup. The stadium still needs consent for its final stages and the Eden Park Redevelopment… [NZ Herald Politics]

I’m beginning to wonder just exactly what Labour’s Ministers actually did for their pay. Yet another cock-up has been revealed that was kept quiet by Labour.

National faces the prospect of having to pass special legislation to override the Resource management Act in orer to complete Eden Park in time for the World Cup in 2011.

What is becoming increasingly apparent is that despite all the perques, the money, the extra civil servants, Labour was quite simply absent without leave from the task of governing.

They must never be trusted with the Treasury benches again.

McCarten obfuscates

Mmmmmatt MmmmcCarten obfuscates almost as much as Clark. In his column in the HoS he calls the debate for Clark. Clearly the TV in McCarten’s household was tuned to a different debate that the rest of us watched.

The rest of his column is a series of Labour spin and obfuscation though he does call the spin that Labour voters don’t have cellphones or the money to text as lame.

That is is interesting spin because if you read the Labour lap-blog The Standard then you would know that official Labour spin is that polls under represent Labour because they don’t have land-lines. So when Clark gets pasted they all of a sudden now don’t have cellphones either.

Good god almighty, who’d be a Labour voter, no landline and now no cellphone.

McCarten also lied when he said that Key’s accusation of Labour wanting us all to have dribbly showers wasn’t true. It demonstrably is true and he knows it.

So after calling the debate for Clark he then uses the rest of the column to explain how Key actually one, not in the minds of the commentators but in the minds of the voters. All that means is that actually Clark got slayed.