Scott Dixon

New Zealander of the Year – your chance to vote

OK, first, thanks for the many of you suggesting I should be New Zealander of the Year. ?It would be cool, but I’m asking ?my own team who to pick, so I’m obviously disqualified for this particular illustrious award. ?But – thank you all the same.

Here are the people that didn’t get a clear 2nd nomination, so they can’t be voted for today

  • Lindsay Mitchell
  • Bevan Chuang
  • John Minto
  • Hone Harawira
  • Louisa Wall
  • Kim Dotcom
  • Scott Dixon
  • David Shearer
  • Val Baker and the Matata police
  • Bob Parker
  • Gerry Brownlee

One or two there reflecting some humour or the fact that we do in fact allow readers to have a different opinion to me!

Val Baker and the Matata police was an interesting nomination. ?This is how it was put forward, and I think they’ve earned some approbation: ? Read more »

Yeah, Nah!

? NZ Herald

Scott Dixon answers some questions and lists his greatest asset:

Your greatest assets?

Being a ginger … and determined.

Yeah, nah…Being Ginger and having no soul isn;t ever going to be an asset.

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More Anti-Juice signs submitted

There are some new images that have been submitted for my Anti-Juice satire series.

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Proof Hamas is in trouble

hat tip My Right Word

Shoe Rockets

Too far

People often ask us at WOBH why we don’t post under our real names. Tonight IrishBill has provided a damn good answer to that question. He’s got a new creep who goes under the moniker “lprent” and he’s decided to show his chops by stalking John Key.

And when I say stalking I’m not joking – this guy has gone the whole hog by going through the women’s magazines for Key’s home and even going there with a bunch of union thugs to take a picture! Now, Key lives in a pretty distinctive house and when it’s being published on the web without his say so and commentated like this:

Just to remind you that we’ve just seen a man worth tens of millions of dollars take work rights off a whole bunch of people who earn minimum wage.

he’d be well within his rights to be concerned about his personal safety.

We’ve always known lprent is a creep but this surprises even me. I notice the last word of this post is “poster” – I can think of a better word to describe its author, hypocrite.

I can only hope these freaks get taken to the cleaners for this.

Guest Post – Jane Andrews

Two men to rule the nation

Sunday, November 9 – and the nation has woken up to the ultimate electoral hangover. In a – to say the least – surprise result beer bong enthusiasts Bill and Ben are holding the balance of power. The pundits definitely did not predict this one.

Most people didn’t think Bill and Ben would even make the 0.1 per cent threshold but they have confounded the commentariat and edged up over the magical 5 per cent mark. Those in the know put it down to their behind-the-scenes polling expert Bruce Rover. In a cunning and far-sighted move Rover targeted male binge drinkers in provincial New Zealand for their list votes. Most of these guys don’t normally even bother to enroll but Rover set up a team of ne’er do well alcoholics to spread the message in towns like Taumaranui, Dannevirke and Gore.

Bill and Ben’s cell phones are clogged with messages from Helen and John. Bill is preparing to head up to Omaha to talk turkey with Key in his multi-million dollar beachside mansion while Ben will pay a visit to Helen’s Mt Eden villa for a detailed policy discussion periodically interrupted by Helen’s husband Peter with teas and scones. The nation holds its breath – will Bill and Ben go left or right? One thing’s for sure – whichever way they go we can expect a halt to the move to tighter liquor licensing laws.

One of the beer bong enthusiast pair’s non-negotiable issues is likely to be the creation of special legal marijuana zones in rural parts of Northland and the East Coast. Tourism NZ is behind this one and is encouraging entrepreneurial local Maori to set up marijuana cafes which will be heavily frequented by German and Scandinavian backpackers. The backpackers will get so stoned that other entrepreneurial local Maori will be able to steal their Swiss army knives and sell them back to them the next day in their thrift shops.

In more complex areas such as competition and regulatory law Bill & Ben are less sure. However Bill has suggested getting all the top business brains in the country into one room to smoke an ounce of the finest hydro and then come up with some really weird world leading policy.

The two are also currently unsure about which baubles of office they have their eyes on. Ben is keen on taking up where Winston Peters left off in foreign affairs. He’s keen on flying to Britain and setting up a meeting with Ali G on immigration issues to figure out how to attract the best poontang to New Zealand. The Middle East peace process also interests Ben and – in his second term – he wants to head to Tel Aviv to see if he can sort it out. Bill wants finance – or failing that at least economic development.

But whichever way they go the nation can rest assured that its future is in safe hands. Bruce Rovers’ next mission is to set up a team of genetic cloning experts to create a super politician to stand for the Bill and Ben party in 2012. The team will look to combine the intellect of Helen Clark the details-nous of Bill Birch, the mongrel of Trevor Mallard and the savior-faire of Winston Peters into the ultimate political animal.

By Jane Andrews

Winston and Helen meeting tapes leaked

Secret tapes of the meeting between Helen Clark and Winston Raymond Peters, 63, List MP of no fixed abode have been leaked.

Stephen Franks has the transcript. (Sheesh, and I thought Stephen didn’t have a sense of humour)

Secret Clark Holiday snap leaked

A secretly photographed snap of the Prime Minister on her skiing holiday at Tekapo has been leaked to WOBH.

Helen Clark skiing accident

Fair Speech (2009) Act

In accordance with the new government laws (Fair Speech (2009) Act) regulating political speech on the internet, this blog is required to submit each new article to the Office of the Commissioner of Fair Speech prior to posting in order to comply with new Fair Speech Laws.

Under the terms of this Act, this post has been regulated in the interests of fairness.

Under the authority of Christine Caughey, Commissioner for Fair Speech, Wellington

Dated 15/08/2010

Authorised by Cameron Slater, Owner of whaleoil.co.nz, 29 Glenfern Rd, Howick.
(Under the terms of the Electoral Finance (Local Government) Act, 2009)

(What will happen to bloggers if Labour and its allies wins a fourth term)

 

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You Decide '08

 

You Decide ’08!
A War Hero, a black guy, or a woman? You Choose.

 

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