Stealing Underpants

Underpants stealing strategy always fails

Normally it is Labour that fails with the underpants stealing strategy.

This time it is a Christchurch man who was literally stealing underpants.

A Christchurch man has today denied being behind a string of underwear thefts from washing lines in the city.

Shane Andrew Brady, 44, is accused of stealing women’s underwear off washing lines in the Christchurch suburb of Riccarton.? Read more »

Tweet of the Day

This tweet sums up Labour’s strategy so far on the Man Ban.

  • Make A Decision on a point of deeply held principle
  • Tell no one and fail to prepare
  • Let the media frame it for you (And remind everyone why you got booted out last time) ? Read more »

Labour – Drowning In A Duck Pond Of Strategy

You have to laugh at all the excitable boffins in the Labour Party running around trying to create “plans”, strategy” and “vision”. They have been doing it for so long now that it implies very firmly that they had nothing that was any good in the first place and need a total change.

They talked endlessly, they changed Leader, nothing. ?They tried to get good media, nothing. ?Just yesterday Mike Smith was resorting to talking up paid right-wing shill Matthew Hooton from his performance on Radio New Zealand, about Labour strategy. ?They are desperate to discuss everything yet do absolutely nothing.

If a publicly listed company dithered with consultation, leadership issues and had this much internal mayhem it would have already suffered from de-listing.

Again even today, explaining is losing:

Labour’s only strategy at the election was the much discussed Stealing Underpants Strategy put in place by their crippled campaign manager who is currently suffering bouts of dementia from the pressure of a young National backbench?(one 31 years his Junior),??the ineptness of his own under-performing Front Bench colleagues and even Labour lap-blog, The Standard.

Now the poor old fool is threatening media if they use footage they are now almost certain to use just to spite him. ?More sound strategy.

For this past week The Standard have all compiled namby pamby posts about needing to get rid of Trevor Mallard. ?Almost all without having the guts to come out and name him as the source of Duncan Garner’s ABC (Anyone But Cunliffe) story. ?It is pathetic blogging. ?Put up his name little anonymous blogger boys or shut up.

Mallard has admitted that there is a need for Labour to be constantly refining. ?Shame is that he does not realise that most of the loudest activists wish to refine him.

Out the door.


Sorry Trevor I was wrong

I need to apologise to Trevor Mallard for yesterday’s post suggesting all manner of reasons for his new found affair with Invercargill.

I was totally off base.

The real reason for Trevor being appointed the caretaker labour rep for Invercargill and Southland is the resurrection of the Underpants Stealing Strategy.

1. Send Trevor to Invercargill

2. ???

3. Win Votes

Or perhaps Labour are just shafting Lesley Soper with the nearest blunt instrument they can find.

Labour’s Lies and their Underpants Stealing Strategy

Now the World Cup is over Labour seem to have reverted to their underpants stealing strategy. David Parker has told a total lie about Sensible Sentencing in a classic underpants stealing move that Trevor Mallard would be proud to have committed himself.

A recap for the uninitiated. It is from ?the Gnomes episode of South Park.

This is the clip that explains why the gnomes are stealing underpants.

There are many synergies with the gnomes and the Labour Party?s election campaign. So their campaign strategy of stealing underpants is:

Phase 1: ??Steal Underpants (an euphemism for some stupid policy that has no chance of winning any votes)
Phase 2: ???
Phase 3: ?Win votes

If?left wing bloggers wish to recycle this idea?without acknowledging Whaleoil they should at the very least acknowledge they are describing an Underpants Stealing strategy.

Understanding Stealing Underpants

A recap for the uninitiated. It is from the Gnomes episode of South Park.

This is the clip that explains why the gnomes are stealing underpants.

Get More: SOUTH

There are many synergies with the gnomes and the Labour Party?s election campaign. So their campaign strategy of stealing underpants is:

Phase 1: ? Steal Underpants (an euphemism for some stupid policy that has no chance of winning any votes)
Phase 2: ? ?
Phase 3: ?Win votes

If left wing bloggers wish to recycle this idea without acknowledging Whaleoil they should at the very least acknowledge they are describing an Underpants Stealing strategy.

Have Labour given up?

via the tipline

A long time Whale Army member has sent in an analysis of Red Alert, wondering if Labour have just plain given up.


I have for a couple of weeks looked at the number of posts and who is making them coming from Red Alert.? I think the MPs have thrown the white (red) flag in defeat. ?There now only seems to be between 1 and 4 posts a day on Red Alert.? and certainly only ever 1 or 2 with any substance – the rest being a cut and paste on articles from Hooton saying how Labour are going to be lucky to come third in the 2011 election

I wonder if it is worth going back a couple of weeks so I did:

There are substantial posts where the Labour MPs actually discuss an issue.

Then there is the cut and paste – or lazy blogging – which is what seems to fill the Red Alert pages now.

In the past couple of weeks all the Labour MPs have been able to do a single substantial post per day.? They cannot even get the prospective candidates to write in with guest columns – Maybe if the t*ts lawyer and carpet bagger for the Wairarapa, Michael Bott, could write a column and a few others Like David Clark who wrote a couple but then gave up then they could bulk up their pages and get a conversation going.? But no – looks like Labour have given up.

Reminds me of Homer Simpson giving advice to Bart – “If it’s too hard then give up”

Date Posts Posts with Issues
9-Sep-11 1 3
8-Sep-11 2 0
7-Sep-11 3 1
6-Sep-11 4 0
5-Sep-11 4 0
4-Sep-11 4 1
3-Sep-11 1 1
2-Sep-11 2 1
1-Sep-11 3 1
31-Aug-11 2 1
30-Aug-11 4 3
29-Aug-11 0 0
28-Aug-11 3 1
27-Aug-11 3 1
26-Aug-11 2 1
25-Aug-11 4 2
24-Aug-11 2 1
23-Aug-11 2 1
22-Aug-11 3 2
21-Aug-11 5 2
20-Aug-11 5 2
19-Aug-11 3 2
18-Aug-11 3 3

There can be a few reasons for this

  1. Labour MPs are so demoralised that they have effectively given up
  2. The number of people reading Red Alert has dropped – so the MPs cannot be bothered any more
  3. Trevor has been too busy working out how to steal underpants
  4. Labour MPs have nothing to talk about except cheese rolls
  5. Labour can no long afford the band-width because they are too broken arsed

Is Goff unimpressed now?

Yesterday Trevor Mallard offensively compared John Key to various totalitarian regimes, including Nazi Germany and Stalinist Russian.

When CHris Carter, who ironically had his valedictory yesterday, did a similar thing Phil Goff and Trevor Mallard were quick to distance themselves from the comments.

Carter later blogged about the incident, but it was later removed by the blog’s editor Trevor Mallard, who did not see the funny side.

“Trevor was sensitive to anyone who found it offensive. There are people still alive who suffered under fascism; that wasn’t something I thought about when I put the blog up,” says Carter.

Now Trevor Mallard has done exactly the same thing. Will he retract his tweet, and now unreservedly apologise to John Key and will Phil Goff be unimpressed as he was with Chris Carter?

Phil Goff is known for his flip-flops of opinion, my pick is he will say that this was just Trevor being Trevor. He will be right of course, just so long as we are under no mis-apprehension that Trevor being Trevor means he is being a rude prick who tells lies.

Of course this could all be part of Trevor’s underpants stealing campaign plan.

Another SMOG: Mallard just doesn't get it

Labour’s campaign manager, fresh from spending 10 weeks training to beat me in a bike race has now unleashed Labour’s latest great campaign idea.

Calling Gerry Brownlee fat and making jokes about it on Twitter. Yet another underpants stealing campaign idea from Trevor Mallard.

1. Tell Gerry Brownlee fat joke
2. ???
3. Win Votes.

The man is an idiot, but then again the poll ratings for Labour prove that.

Better effort from Nashy, not so much Clare

Yesterday Stuart Nash was a bit of dick with his Twitter efforts. However by evening he had settled down and has written a?pearler?of a post that would have been oh so much more effective than his hurling abuse across the twitterverse.

English, Adams and Bennett are all farmers (2 South Island drystock and 1 Waikato dairy), hence the irony of being lectured on debt and tax considering the farming sector has around $40b worth of debt, or a quarter of NZs total debt (most held by overseas-owned banks), and many in the farming community are masters at ?optimising? their own tax obligations.

Obviously all three would be subject to a capital gains tax when they sold their farms (I know Adams and Bennett have more than one farm, but unsure about English). So I was left wondering who these three cockies are representing ? the NZers they claim to speak for, or their own back pockets..? Call me cynical, but I suspect its the latter.

For a whole number of reasons this approach is far better than hurling abuse at John Key. For a start about as many people like Bill English as like Phil Goff so bashing away at Bill will prove fruitful. Likewise David Bennett who is still using his “cancer” to pull chicks.

Hopefully Stuart has learned that Trevor’s stealing underpants campaign has got them into the polling hole they currently suffer and is now trying to raise the bar. Hopefully he has taken aside other younger members of caucus and quietly told them to lift their game and distance themselves from the smear tactics.

Stuart’s post after his anger on Twitter was in stark contrast to Clare Curran’s effort at redemption which frankly was?disappointing. Her post previously linking John Key to baby-killers was pure underpants stealing and ultimately pointless. I’ve come to expect better from her.

Labour need to learn that attacking John Key and trying to link him to all sorts of crimes, real or imagined won’t work. Even the baby-killing accusation won’t work, even if they had a photo of John snacking on baby brains. The voters out there would chuckle and say “oh look, there’s that nice Mr Key enjoying a hearty, iron filled snack”.

I fear fro Labour, if they stick to the old boys plan they may very well challenge Bill English for electoral ignominy and I for one certainly don’t want to see that.