Come on Timaru, is this for real?


Eels are actually quite an interesting part of our culture. ?Lots of people have their eeling story. ?But nothing like this.

Police are investigating after eels were used in a bizarre attack on a Timaru property.

Sergeant Greg Sutherland, of Timaru, said police were called to a Collins St house about 11.20pm on Sunday and found several of the slimy creatures lying on the lawn. Read more »


Timaru ask public to name a boat; hopes to avoid Boaty McBoatface

Hart Marine via ODT

Hart Marine via?Stuff


The public will have a say in the naming of PrimePort Timaru’s new $2.4 million pilot boat, but we are not allowed to call it Boaty McBoatface.

Chief executive Phil Melhopt said they had not sorted out the finer details for naming the 15.6m self-righting vessel which has just been ordered from Australia’s Hart Marine and is due to arrive in Timaru in July, 2017. Read more »

“No Sh*t Shylock” meets the “nasty little creep”


Steve Gibson’s selfie sans John Key

Even Steve Gibson couldn’t stop himself being star struck by John Key

He called him ”Shylock” and a ”nasty little creep” but Labour’s Rangitata candidate Steve Gibson was among those queueing to shake hands with John Key during the Prime Minister’s election trail walkabout in Timaru [yesterday]?afternoon. Read more »

You can’t fault Timaru Labour candidate Steve Gibson for his dedication


If he thinks that explaing policy to?constinuents involves tearing strips of them, I don’t see too bright a future for him.

More “vote positive” stuff from the Nasty Party



Oh look! ?Legal eagle, trust specialist Greg Presland and the brains behind David Cunliffe was at it a few weeks ago, but look at Steve Gibson, calling John Key “Shylock”.

Shylock?is a fictional character in?Shakespeare‘s?The Merchant of Venice. A Venetian Jewish moneylender, Shylock is the play’s principal antagonist.?

Of course, none of the Anti-semitism that is coming John Key’s way has got?anything do do with party officials. ?I mean, Greg Presland jumped straight on top of that and said “Eh, we don’t do that sort of thing here.”


Who is Steve Gibson? Read more »

Our media is rooted

The good people of Timaru got fed this horse shit yesterday morning.

NOTICE: People of Timaru, if your mayor was having an affair on ratepayer time your local paper wouldn’t tell you because you’re not supposed to care. On top of not supposing to care your local paper won’t tell you that there are ratbags in the?town hall because they have deemed it to not be in the public interest.

This is horse shit…tell everything and let the public decide if it is in the public interest. Bastards.

Is an affair by the mayor of our largest city of public interest? There is no doubt it’s interesting to the public, but public interest is another thing.

And the answer is … maybe.

It is not of public interest because Len Brown was obviously doing a good job during the two years he was having his affair with Bevan Chuang. How do we know? Because he just got elected with a majority of 50,000 votes, that’s how.

But it is in the public interest on the basis he used his position to foster the relationship, that he did so in work time, and that he used council premises in doing so.? Read more »


Global Warming delivers a White Holiday to the South

How about that global warming treating you down south?

Unseasonable snow has joined the wild and wet weather chaos in many parts of New Zealand, particularly the South Island, with holidaymakers stranded and key services knocked out.

Several days of heavy rain compounded yesterday, with the West Coast and Fiordland bearing the brunt of the storm.

In central Otago this morning, an operation is underway to get people out of the Lindis Pass after a heavy snow fall.

Read more »

Our next Sunrise Industry

NZ Herald?has a report on a recent dognapping where ?Jasmine Beaumont-Morgan’s dog Poppy had been taken and a $30 ransom was demanded via a txt message to a number ?found on its collar:

The man in possession of Poppy arranged a meeting at Homai train station. He refused to give Beaumont-Morgan his address. “We didn’t know what these people were going to do to her or us when we arrived.

”The man’s bizarre ransom fee was no joke, and he waited for Beaumont-Morgan at the station, his three children in tow. “He was passing it onto the next generation that this was the right thing to do,” Beaumont-Morgan said.

Jasmine Beaumont-Morgan collected sufficient information from the meeting to report the man to Police.

[Jasmine] called police the next day for an update and was told the man had been given a warning

A warning?

But then the article gets interesting. ?It turns out, dognappings are on the rise, I mean even senior office holder Nats are playing in the dog-napping game:

Dognappings have been reported in Invercargill, Christchurch and Timaru this year. And in Queenstown this May, miscreants stalked a man and his Rottweiler before stealing the dog…

credit: pawfun.com

Dognapping has its own Wikipedia page, and as a crime in the USA it led to a law in 1966 that eventually became part of the Amimal Welfare Act.

A cursory Google reveals that pet napping is on the rise in other countries too, and new industries that deal with prevention and recovery are starting up in response.

But $30?

Perhaps he has low overheads?


Face of the Day

Timaru Herald

Timaru mountaineer Christine Burke has become the first New Zealand woman to climb the highest mountain on each of the seven continents.

Ungrateful Pricks

Even after having their “investments” saved by the rest of New Zealand bailing out their dodgy Mr Magoo finance company, investors in South Canterbury Finance still aren’t grateful. Instead of bending their knees in grateful appreciation to the rest of New Zealand for saving their “investments” they are flipping us all the bird.

There’s less sympathy for Finance Minister Bill English’s comments yesterday to those investors who will get their money back, thanks to the scheme.

“I would hope that the depositors of South Canterbury and those who are supporting the company are grateful for the support of the New Zealand taxpayer,” said English.

Timaru resident John Fahey said he didn’t think it was fair comment.

“I don’t think the people involved with Mr Hubbard will agree with that at all,” he said.

Helen Henderson, another preferential shareholder, isn’t covered by the government’s guarantee either and she’s not impressed with English’s advice.

“Despite the white knight comments of Mr English that he has saved all of the investors, there has been a downside for me,” she said.

Ask depositors in Blue chip, Hanover and the plethora of other finance companies who had the mis-fortune of being based anywhere but in the South Island and see how they think about it all. Investors in SCF are just bloody lucky that some very powerful National party connections were able to strong arm “Blinglish” (what else can you call him after flinging the bling all over South Canterbury).

With such displays of utter arrogance and gracelessness there is really only one thing for it. Nuke Timaru, with ground zero at 19 Sophia Street, Timaru. The only question for me is the size of the bomb. My thoughts are that we should burn the whole place to the ground completely and start afresh so I’ve picked the B61 (USA, in service, 340 Kilotons), This variable-yield bomb is the mainstay of the US arsenal and can be deployed by jet fighters.

Once the dust settles then we can sell the rest of the South Island and finally be rid of the leeches.

Nuke Timaru and sell the South Island

Nuke Timaru and sell the South Island