Whaleoil Awards

Whaleoil Awards 2012 – The Winners (and Losers)

This years winners of the Whaleoil Awards are as follows:

Best Political Blog – apart from me…is Cactus Kate…by a nose from David Farrar.

I think this reflects that David Farrar has turned his blog into a an arts, travel and fitness blog and is focussing less on politics. While Cactus Kate blogs less often it is worth the wait.

Imperator Fish came a creditable third. But then I would say that because of my on-going man-crush thing with Scott.

collins-1200Best Minister – Judith Collins

A resounding 52% of the vote.

Judith Collins has much to deal with this year, from the manufactured crisis of Bronwyn Pullar at ACC to David Bain’s ongoing PR blitz.

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Whaleoil Awards – Best Political Blog


We need to have a slightly different voting method here. Because of the large choice and the fact that blogs do cover things slightly?differently?you may vote for three blogs.

Pick your top 3.

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Whaleoil Awards – Best Political Blog

Here it is…the post you have all been waiting for.

Which blog is the best political blog in the land. If you go by Open Parachute stats then the most popular and well read blog is this blog, but is it the best.

Perhaps you may prefer David Farrar’s lesser read travel, arts and fitness blog…he does sometime blog about politics.

THen there is Russell Brown’s lambchop recipe blog and old hippy blog…he used to be rated the best of the best.

Cactus Kate surely must get a mention, though she doesn’t blog nearly as frequently as she ought.

Comment away.

Whaleoil Awards – Best Minister

WO-Best Minsiter

The nominations ar in and now for the voting.

Steven Joyce -?minister of the newly formed MoBIE and the minister most other?ministers?fear. His sledging is legendary, and his capacity for work also is the stuff of legends. I prefer to label him the Bill Birch of this government. I have never seen a minister with a bigger set of carry on luggage as Steven Joyce.

Gerry BrownleeMichael describes Gerry’s contributions particularly well:

I’m tempted to suggest Big Gerry get into the finals. Not that he’s better than the other Ministers listed but that he keeps telling Len Brown that Auckland needs roads not rail, that the only opposition to the Earthquake Recovery plans seem to be an anti-Government protest group made up of the usual Union and Labour suspects, and that the only mark against him is the new petrol taxes announced last week.

Personally, I think he’s a prick but respect what he has done this year.

Judith Collinswiltinpenis comments:

Judith, our next Prime Minister, hands down.?I contemplated changing my pseudonym after she smiled at me the other day.

Bunswalla adds:

Crusher Collins has to get my vote. She’s been extremely sure-footed and confident, not afraid to take Mallard and Little to the brink and forcing them to back down. She’s sorted out ACC and is giving good service to the Police. And of course she’s smacked down all-comers in the chamber, and the opposition think twice before trying to take her on. Balls of steel.

Tony Ryallwilliamabong must know Tony very well:

Ryall would have been a definite sitter for the award but for one little problem, he’s a 24 ct sneaky cunt.

unitedtribes adds:

I go with Tony Ryall, He always sounds so right for the job. One of those guys when he speaks on any subject you just got to believe him. One the other hand JC lets you believe if you dare doubt her your in the shit.

Paula BennettDave says:

For me the best, Collins and Bennett, not a single blow from the opposition has landed, and they both have done a sterling job.

Whaleoil Awards - Best Minister

  • Judith Collins (52%, 239 Votes)
  • Steven Joyce (16%, 73 Votes)
  • Tony Ryall (15%, 69 Votes)
  • Paula Bennett (12%, 57 Votes)
  • Gerry Brownlee (5%, 21 Votes)

Total Voters: 459

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Whaleoil Awards – Best Minister

Despite the disasters of Hekia Parata, who single-handedly undid all the good work Anne Tolley did in Education in smashing up the teacher unions there were some ministers who did a good job.

Some of course were invisible, but often that is a good thing.

Those more prominent include John Key of course…who continues his chart topping popularity with barely a dent despite the best efforts of his underlings to cause upset.

Any best minister award should have Tony Ryall on it, if only because there have have been no health scandals in 4 years on his watch. Normally getting picked for health minister is the equivalent of having the bone pointed at you. The only job worse is education minister…but lucky for others Hekia Parata actually lobbied for that job.

Judith Collins moved from Corrections and Police where she sorted out both the chief executives of Corrections and the commissioner of Police, managing and organising their departures. Her new job as ACC and Justice minister was met with the manufactured stand over of Pullar and Boag, aided and abetted by John Judge and his sneaky backroom whisperings. Judge clearly isn’t a scholar of history because if he was he would have pulled his head in rather than?have?it chopped off…which is ultimately what happened, along with half the board.?Despite?the whining of Labour about the calamity that would befall ACC with all their flunkies on the board being axed nothing of the sort eventuated. And so to Justice, where Collins has had to deal with an activist ex-judge hell-bent on telling Joe Karam’s version events with regard to the Bain case. Again she acted forcefully and without hesitation. Leaving only the worst reforms of Simon Power to be unpicked.

Surely too we need to include Steven Joyce, minister of the newly formed MoBIE and the minister most other?ministers?fear. His sledging is legendary, and his capacity for work also is the stuff of legends. I prefer to label him the Bill Birch of this government. I have never seen a minister with a bigger set of carry on luggage as Steven Joyce.

Paula Bennett must be a nominee too, if only for the best sledge of the year with her now famous “Zip it Sweetie“, pouring the lack lustre Jacinda Ardern back into her bottle. Despite the?best?attempts of a pathetic Labour front bench not a?single?blow was landed on Paula.

What other ministers?have?made their mark in a positive way this year. Check the full list of ministers and see if you can come up with any other nominees.

Whaleoil Awards – Worst Political Blog

Red Alert: The blog of Labour MPs, tightly moderated, dissenting views are?rigorously?edited or deleted. All the moderators tell out right lies when altering, moderating or?deleting?comments. Willing to us gathered information about commenters for internal party witch-hunts.

No Right Turn: The shouty, angry blog of Malcolm Harbrow, professional student and pretend liberal. He turned off comments years ago?because?like all hard left socialists and control freaks he cannot tolerate dissent. Seriously prone to Key Derangement Syndrome.

The Standard:?Janet Wilson once labeled them?as ?hard left rhetoric rendered [them] blind to any rational coverage.? Tightly moderated, rabid to the extreme and blinkered. Mostly anonymous but Lynn Pretice thinks he is the worlds best programmer and quaintly still refers to himself as a ?sysop?. Perhaps the most seriously afflicted with Key Derangement Syndrome. Ironically they describe almost any blog other than their own as ?the sewer?. Mike Smith, who works 20 hours per week in Shearer’s office is also a named blogger there.

Tumeke:?Used to be a decent blog when mostly written by Tim Selwyn. During his stint at Her Majesty’s pleasure it was taken over by blow-hard Martyn Bradbury. Is way more shouty than No Right Turn and prone to serious bouts of Key Derangement Syndrome. Phoebe Fletcher is the sole voice of reason at the blog but her posts are infrequent, probably from embarrassment.

NZ Conservative:?The?religious?hard right blog of Lucia Maria and Andrei amongst others. Openly anti-gay and nasty about it.

Whaleoil Awards - Worst Political Blog

  • The Standard (52%, 202 Votes)
  • Tumeke (20%, 77 Votes)
  • Red Alert (15%, 59 Votes)
  • NZ Conservative (10%, 37 Votes)
  • No Right Turn (3%, 11 Votes)

Total Voters: 386

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Whaleoil Awards – Worst Political Blog

So many to choose from…here are a few ideas

The Standard Lynn Prentice’s Hate Speech Blog: Quite possibly the worst, mainly for their sanctimonious accusations of any other blog being a sewer without for a moment having a look at their own comments and commenters.

Tumeke: Martyn Bradbuy‘s frothing hate speech rant, with occaisonal delusions from Tim Selwyn. The only decent blogger there, Phoebe Fletcher, stays away, probably out of shame.

Pundit: Tim Watkins “blog”…where it is mostly the musings of unemployed old journalists and assorted pinkos.

Red Alert: Pretty dire and a boring these days… Trevor’s great social media experiment rots like a soviet naval base.

Then there are the also ran…while not bad per se they simply don;t get any traffic to warrant speaking about….but hey..if there is a bad one out there you think needs adding to the list then by all means comment away.

Then there are the bunny boilers and p freaks who blog, with their sanctimonious enablers.

Plenty to choose from.

Whaleoil Awards – Biggest Corporate Fail

Whaleoil Awards - Biggest Corporate Fail

  • Michael Fay - for trying to nick farms below market rate (39%, 229 Votes)
  • Jetstar - for being Jetstar (31%, 184 Votes)
  • ANZ - for killing off the National Bank (19%, 114 Votes)
  • Foodstuffs - ongoing malfeasance against suppliers (11%, 66 Votes)

Total Voters: 593

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Whaleoil Awards – Worst List MP


There were a great many comments, but the finalists are:

Raymond Huo – Mr?Invisible?except for his terminally boring posts on Red Alert..then he is the SMOG master now that Trev has gone silent.

Hekia Parata – Nominated for obvious reasons…may take out this award plus?the?Worst minister award. She has talked herself up sine like forever, and failed deliver for just as long. In the Mana by election she skited that she came close but in the general election faded. In her job as a minister on the basis of tokenism rather than merit, and protected in her ineptitude by Bill English’s mob and for some reason John Key.

Asenati Lole-Taylor – Her first name should be AseNasti. Moderator Travis Poulson is quite accurate:

Asenati Lole-Taylor by a long shot. A NZ First list MP with more ego and arrogant nastiness of someone that actually has a mandate. Someone needs to tell her that twitter and alcohol don’t go together.

100% nasty piece of work.

Rajen Prasad – A more useless MP you couldn’t train if you tried

Gareth HughesTeletubby comments:

Definitely Hughes – hypocrisy beyond measure, flying around the country bitching about carbon footprints

Gazzaw adds:

Gareth Hughes though gets my overall vote as a whining, bludging hypocrite – with a name like his is there any possibility that we could deport him back to Wales?

Whaleoil Awards - Worst List MP

  • Gareth Hughes (62%, 286 Votes)
  • Hekia Parata (18%, 82 Votes)
  • Asenati Lole-Taylor (11%, 52 Votes)
  • Rajen Prasad (7%, 34 Votes)
  • Raymond Huo (2%, 8 Votes)

Total Voters: 462

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Whaleoil Awards – Biggest Corporate Fail

While we?re looking at 2012, I thought about companies that had tried to tuck New Zealanders during the year.

The one that springs to mind was?Foodstuffs and their PR fail with screwing local suppliers with a 3% rebate. That resulted in a tickle up for Foodstuffs boss Murray Jordan and his?appalling corporate video?bullshitting?harping on about values.

Foodstuffs tried to backtrack in September from their supplier tax, but then, when they felt the attention had passed, tried to press ahead with it in October. This resulted in?another tickle up.

There?s plenty of other examples, JetStar being an obvious one and standard contender.

Put your nominations in the comments and reasons why your pick should take out this award.